Miss Jill's Solo Sojourn in Santa Fe

Sometimes a teacher, or a mother or a wife or a daughter or a person, needs to get away from all that is cherished and familiar, in order to remember why she cherishes those things.  In my particular case, I am of a certain age, my child is in college, my dog died...it's just time.  Time to make a well-planned runaway, an organized displacement, a, as I told myself several decades the last time I did this, writing in my journal on a northbound train, running away from my sensible boyfriend...I needed a significant interruption.  An interruption other than the fabulous one that happened when I learned I was pregnant and began to fall in love with responsibility.  An interruption other than "accidentally" finding "the one" at age 45.

This interruption/displacement/runaway is ALL MINE.

The first one since 1992!  Where I get to choose my adventure, my interruption. So, of course at this point in my life, this choose-my-own-adventure had to be well planned in light of those responsibilities I fell in love with way back when.  But I planned well enough to be able to get away not just physically, but that all too critical, mentally.  Without some mental freedom, an adventure could get wasted.  So I planned.  I paid ahead. I pre-packed for a month!  For these 10 days.

My adventure is one, I realized, that has been brewing in my heart and mind since a very young age (before leaving on this sojourn I re-read all of the journals I have written since 1987.) So this adventure had a place on my newly written bucket list.  An, if-you-don't-do-this-pretty-soon-you-never-will adventure.

I have landed in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  I have rented my adorable casita.  I have brought a few boxes containing writing I have done for a couple of decades.  It's time.  We'll see what happens. I seem to be ready to write. No staring at a blank screen or empty sheet of journal-page.  I was so ready to write I even scribbled a few lines while driving!
When I left I was groggy and a bit stressed this morning.  The transition of "getting somewhere" can get in my way of embracing the journey.

 

But lo' and behold, the longer I drove, the more relaxed I became.  I enjoyed the views out my window.  Played an old CD from the 1990's which made me feel 28 again.  And, it almost seemed, the more miles I put behind me, a few layers of skin and wrinkles and years slipped right off of me and it was almost like I was 28 again.

This writing, this blog, is not the writing I am here to do.  This blog is for you, for my same-age mommies who are also embarking on their empty-nest adventures - a flight attendant in the making and a new business owner - you are my inspiration and my confidants and I am reporting to you. This blog is also for my young-mommies who usually read the blog I do about their children.  You mommies may need to do this some day.  So this is for you too.  And, for anyone else I tell about this blog - my family so you can see I'm "okay" and my husband, of course, so you can see I'm really doing stuff! Random friends I think might be vaguely interested in what I am doing. There is no pressure to read this.  It is mostly for fun.  But also, I want to pass along the idea that it is never too late to do some of your dreams...

I rewarded myself for the longest drive I have done solo since age 28 with a delicious green chili cheese burger!  Kirk out.  More tomorrow.